Temp. Post.
The place I initially tried to post this is having errors, this is a temporary holder for it until the forum is working properly. Siiigh.
Had three pieces of pizza and some salad last night. Was horribly, painfully bloated but fought through it and didn’t purge. Slept for about 5 hours before the gas pain and bloat woke me up. Took some meds, thought I was doing better, so I got ready, got a smoothie from starbucks, and went to work.
Made it two hours before the pain was so intense I needed to leave. Made it home, put on pajamas, and napped for four hours. Woke up hungry and dehydrated but of course was afraid to eat and so tried just having some water and a push-up sherbet pop. NO FUCKING DICE. Horrible, horrible gas and bloating, miserable pain. Drank a sip of liquid antacid and took another vicodin (I don’t want to be pulling this shit for the next fucking six months trying to get better, you guys). Got down some scrambled eggs and a piece of toast. I think the gas is starting to subside a bit, or at least the pain is muted from the drugs, but fuck me. I don’t even know what to do. I’m truly scared. I cannot live like this for much longer before I go completely insane. I can’t keep a job in this condition, I certainly can’t move out and take care of myself when I’m like this.
What am I going to do if this doesn’t resolve itself soon? All my plans are just… disintegrating before my eyes, and I hate myself because all of this is my own fault. I have nobody to blame but me.
Will be keeping (no-caloric) track of my intake for a while, I don’t know why. Maybe, somehow, in the end it’ll be helpful.
Today:
-3/4 chocolate banana smoothie w/ espresso shot
-100 cal mini clif bar
-sherbet push-up pop
-2 eggs, scrambled w/ splash of milk
-1 piece light toast
